Wednesday, 6 April 2011



Lonely wont leave me alone.
An unwanted lover he crawls into my bed at night. Wraps his cold body around me. Whispering sweet nothings in my ear, his icy silence - deathening.
His shadow - falls against the wall, where monsters form, rise and fall, and everything grows dark until dawn.

He hangs around, as night peals back to reveal morn. Even as day breaks, attentative in his devotion, he follows me from room to room, from house to street, from bus to work from work to school and home again.

My constant companion is not a friend.
He places his hand over my heart and at his touch an icicle forms and instantly begins to grow, from the inside out.
I can hear the distinct crushing sound of the shards as they crystalise. They create an echo when I talk or laugh - hollow. Everything is so hollow.

Listen carefully you can hear the tiny little cracks throughout.
I step into the crowd and try to lose my silent lover. I twist and I turn. I zig and I zag, but like my shadow he’s always right behind me, just behind my left ear.
Whispering, Whispering , Whispering, condemnations I have heard so many times before.
Lonely, I dont want to play anymore.
And just when I think he’s given up the chase, Lonely smoothly turns up the pace.
My heart beats faster still. I lose my breath in my throat, as my feet hit the ground I’m running but I feel like I’m afloat.

Floating through the rain, as Lonely picks up the pace again
From out of nowhere Joy takes me by the hand and pushes Lonely away.
Joy cradles my face in his hands and delights me with a kiss, tender, compassionate and as soft as a butterflys flutter.

He tells me to hold on, or I lose him as he cant stand to keep still, and I can come with him to where paradise lives if I remember to use my free will.
I feel my self thawing at his touch, an embrace that feels like I’m coming home.
He says he will be there whenever I need all I have to do is look for him where he roams.
Look for me in the laughter of your friends, Look for me in the gaze of your family, Look for me in the join of every human connection.

Look for me where love begins, look for me in the giggle of a new born baby, look for me in the very beginning of the thought that pondered your creation…
And I’ll be waiting there.
Look for me in the depth of your heart for your soul could never have rainbows, if your eyes never shed a tear…

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