Making love for the first time
Along with sexual maturity comes the natural desire to make love with your boyfriend or girlfriend.
After caresses and kisses, you’ll naturally want to bring your two bodies into more profound harmony and make love, for the first time. Doctissimo gives you some guidelines for this very important step in your life.
Making love: the sexual act
When sexually aroused, the man’s penis becomes erect as blood flows into it, thereby bringing it up and stiffening it, while the woman’s vagina becomes moist and lubricated.
Both partners stimulate each other’s sexes, after which the man slips his penis into the woman’s vagina. Spontaneously thrusting back and forth in this position brings both lovers mounting pleasure. At the height of sexual excitement, they experience a sensation of intense pleasure accompanied by muscular spasms: this is known as an orgasm. Sexual pleasure also sometimes produces moans, groans and cries.
At this stage, the man ejaculates sperm while the woman’s orgasm is brought about by clitoris and vaginal stimulation. Orgasm doesn’t necessarily occur simultaneously for both partners.
Women sometimes fail to achieve orgasm, while men reach orgasm more easily. Most of the time, this is because women are not yet familiar with their bodies’ erogenous zones, or because they’re too tense and don’t know how to guide the caresses of their partner, who may not know how to go about it either. As they grow more experienced, women become increasingly aware of what gives them sexual pleasure.
Contraception and safe sex
Men and women need to be equally concerned by safe sex and contraception. Many don’t fully realize it, but a young girl can fall pregnant during her first sexual experience. There are also risks of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) AIDS and hepatitis, which are transmitted through blood, semen and vaginal secretion, particularly if one of you has already been sexually active with another person.
No matter how sexually attracted you may be to your boyfriend or girlfriend, and however difficult saying no might be, you should always refuse to engage in unprotected sex. It’s better that you discuss this together beforehand, decide your contraception, and then you can enjoy your special moment together without worry.
Male and female condoms are single-use contraceptives and are the most reliable protection against sexually transmitted infections, provided they’re properly used. So, for your own comfort and safety you should both read the instructions for use prior to sexual intercourse. It’s not a bad idea for the young man to practise putting on the condom beforehand, to ensure that he has got it right. In the event of a condom splitting, allowing the semen to escape, the girl may need to take the morning-after pill to avoid an unwanted pregnancy.
If you have any doubts or think you run a risk of falling pregnant (through a broken condom, or unprotected sex), you should seek medical advice and can buy the morning-after pill at pharmacies (without a prescription for a fee of around £22); by appointment with your local GP; or through your local Family Planning Clinic. There are 2 morning-after pills available in the UK, called Levonelle and Ellaone, but in all cases you need to react quickly as these pills are only effective for a maximum of 72 days after unprotected sex, with the ideal being their use within 12 hours following the unprotected sex.
The birth-control pill, by acting on hormones, blocks ovulation and is extremely effective in preventing pregnancy, on the condition that you take it every single day, without fail. The pill can be prescribed by your doctor or through your local Family Planning Clinic. Be aware however, that the pill provides no protection whatsoever against sexually transmitted diseases.